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H A ("Happy Harry") Kresner MA Dip Ed (1913 - 1996)

Henry Alfred Kresner was variously English and English/History Master during much of the 60s. He was a notable scholar and writer and a memorable character. His publications included:

 

Compendium of ancient history (1961 187 pp maps 19 cm)

English expression for Leaving Certificate (1961 96 pp 19 cm)

English for Third Form (1964 170 pp 19 cm)

The English lyric (1963 176 pp 19 cm)

Formal English for fourth form (1962 128 pp 19 cm)

Intermediate English note book 1963 (1962 224 pp 18 cm)

An introduction to literature (1962 95 pp 18 cm)

Notes on Essays old & new (1962 48 pp 19 cm)

Notes on Julius Caesar (1962 69 pp 19 cm)

Notes on Macbeth (1963 79 pp 19cm)

Notes on Mr Polly (1963 40 pp 19 cm)

Notes on Richard II (1966 72 pp 19 cm)

Notes on She stoops to conquer (1963 31 pp 18 cm)

Notes on Silas Marner (1962 35 pp 19 cm)

Notes on the English essay (1963 55p 19cm)

Notes on the fire on the snow (1963 32 pp 19cm)

Notes on The passage (1965 48 pp 19 cm)

Notes on The tempest (1963 56 pp 19cm)

Notes on Wuthering Heights (1963 63 pp 19 cm)

Secondary spelling (1963 47 pp 18 cm)

She stoops to conquer introductory notes and glossary (1963 91 pp 19 cm)

All my life I’ve wanted to be a writer. In high school I had a wonderful English teacher. His name was Harry Kresner. His favorite saying was “the only difference between this classroom and a circus is that a circus has more chairs.” He also said “only one of two things can happen after I’m through teaching you. I will either elevate you up to my level of intellect or you will drag me down to your level of stupidity.”

 

Mr Kresner was a real character. Luckily, I didn’t drag him down to my level of stupidity. Nor did he elevate me all the way up to his level of intellect. But he did tell me to forget a career in law, dentistry or engineering. "Those professions are for the masses. Pursue your talent for writing," he said. "And never give up. Be persistent. Chase your dream. And you will not regret it."

 

"That’s all very well and good, Mr Kresner," I said to him. "But what are my prospects of making a living out of writing?" He sighed. "Very slim," he replied. "But your creativity will be your reward."

 

Dan Drexler “The most exciting writer of the new millenium” - New York Chronicle

Kresnerisms

 

  • "You’re so low you could crawl under a snake’s belly wearing a top hat and stilts." - Various sources

  • "If I were your parents, I’d put powdered glass in your porridge." - HAK

  • "They know not their right hand from their left and are all but cattle." (after Jonah 4:11)

  • "Corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative." (after W.S. Gilbert, The Mikado)

  • "Read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest." (after English Book of Common Prayer)

  • "Don't point your finger when you debate; do like old Demosthenes down there: extend your palm and gesture with your whole hand."

  • “Start slow, go slow and finish on fire!” - HAK to the debating team

  • "I could read log tables with more passion than that!" - HAK

  • "You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!." (after Shakespeare, Julius Caesar)

  • "Man shall not live on bread alone," (after Matthew 4:4) "so report to me every lunchtime this week and revise all your spelling mistakes."

  • "Miserable, useless, hopeless, lifeless, senseless, worthless, brainless, wretched creature." - HAK

  • "Tripe, piffle, twaddle and bunk, nonsense and tommy-rot." - HAK

  • "Eyes have they, but see not. Ears have they, but hear not." (after Psalm 115)

  • "Apt Alliteration’s artful aid.” (Charles Churchill)

One Kresnerism I had fired at me one day and at close range - a cracker - "read, learn and inwardly digest". He certainly hit the mark! There was lengthy preamble would prefer to keep to myself, even after all these years. I have used it a few times myself, so Mr Kresner lives. I also recall him landing a stunner line on Pittas (recall him) and it stopped him in his tracks just as he was about deal out some sort mischief. Wish I could remember it now.

Peter Funnell

The Randwick Boys' High  School motto "Labore et Honore" (Work and Honour) is credited to have been devised by Latin/English teacher, Harry Kresner, around 1948.

- Wikipedia

Here is another Kresner story. During a boring student teacher prac lesson, Eric G decided to stick the pointy end of a protracter into my thigh. Mr Kresner was patrolling the corridor just in time to see me punch Eric in the shoulder. He barged into the class and dragged me out to the masters' room to collect his cane.  His face went red. He managed one stroke on my palm, two on the knuckles on the upswing (that hurt) and three whacks on his trousers. He heard six whacks and stopped.
Alan Deutsch.

I didn't have him as a teacher and was never caned by him but knew well of horror stories like some of those related. Revered and at the same time feared for cruel abuse of power. His assaults were out of line, even in those days.

 

How much intellect does a man have to have to realise that corporal punishment is an abuse of power and unacceptable in any circumstance? Why would you want to or feel obliged to hit someone under your charge? I made a recent comment that, despite the intellect, he might have been a one trick pony. His bag of carefully crafted insults didn't change or expand year after year.

 

The one about being so low that the student could crawl under a snake's belly wearing a top hat and walking on stilts was marginally funny the first time and a cliché thereafter. A fertile mind might have generated new insults in a forever expanding stockpile, but it didn't. Under the guidelines this may be unpublishable, and so the myth will continue.

Gary J

 

Gary, I had him as a teacher. It was a famous fact that Mr Kresner's caning didn't hurt a bit. Also, the one about the stilts was funny every time. Furthermore, his store of insults (always jocular and never truly nasty) was limitless. In my opinion Mr Kresner was a gentle guy and not cruel. The myth continues.

John.

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